Insidious

Last night I went to Zack-Attack's house with the intentions of sitting around playing guitar and laying down some music. After about eh 30 minutes we got bored and he suggested movies! So we get in the truck and hit the road. We picked Insidious. Holy smokes that was a freaky movie!! We were sitting as far back from the screen as possible and squinting our eyes pretty much the whole time! It was hilarious how many times we jumped! And to make it ever crazier was that there were only 6 people, that includes us, in the entire theater. Then on the way home we head banged to some Metallica! Pretty good ending to a pretty good night! Oh and one more thing.... WE ARE NOT DATING! Zack and I are just absolute best friends. He knows everything,yes EVERYTHING, about me and it's ok. And vice versa. And for you guys who say you can't have an opposite gender best friend you are dead wrong! And we will prove that to you. There is nothing accept absolute best friend-ship between us! So there. See Ya!

30 Day Music Challenge-Day17

17)A Song I Hear Often On The Radio
E.T. By Katy Perry
And I love this song!

30 Day Music Challenge-Day16

16) A Song I Used To Love But Now Hate
Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry
It just got old

30 Day Music Challenge-Day15

15) A Song That Describes Me
Oh! There are so many I could put here but I wouldn't want to reveal everything lol
So I'm going with Numb by Linkin Park but only because it's something that's going on in my life right now.

30 Day Music Challenge-Day14

14) A Song No One Would Expect Me To Love
Bottoms Up by Trey Songz and Nicky Minaj
:)

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 13

13) A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure
Thriller by Michael Jackson
I listen to it all the time... Not just at Halloween lol

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 12

12) A Song From A Band I Hate
Anything Justin Beiber. Enough Said.

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 11

11) A Song From My Favorite Band
Waiting for the End by Linkin Park
LOVE me some Linkin Park

30 Day Music Challenge- Day 10

10) A Song I Can Fall Asleep To.
Born On The Cusp by American Analog Set
Really great sleepy song

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 9

9)A Song I Can Dance To.
I don't dance so I'm skipping this one lol

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 8

8)A Song That I Know All The Words To
Grenade by Bruno Mars
I know the words to tons of songs but this is the first that came to mind.

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 7

7) A Song That Reminds Me of a Certain Event
Long Distance by Bruno Mars
When I left Florida for Nashville and Nashville going back to Florida.

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 6

6) A Song That Reminds Me of Somewhere
The Messenger by Linkin Park
It reminds me of home and how to get there.

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 5

5) A Song That Reminds Me of Someone.
Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.
I can't explain.

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 4

4) A Song That Makes Me Sad.
Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

30 Day Music Challenge-Day3

3) A Song That Makes Me Happy.
Accidentally In Love By Counting Crows
I don't know what it is but I just like this song. It makes me smile :)

30 Day Music Challenge-Day 2

2) My least favorite song.
"Like A G6"
This has to be the stupidest song ever. It doesn't even deserve an explanation.

Moving On...

So here's the news. For those who didn't know a few months ago I moved to Nashville to stay with aunt for a while. I felt I needed to clear my head and get a fresh start. I was wrong. In all actuality I was running from things I was, and still am, terrified of dealing with. But being here I have grown as an individual and I know I can't be afraid any longer. I'm an oddball. I'm more than a little out there. I know that. And I have major issues facing my fears. But I know I have to be an adult and figure my life out. Now. So I'm moving back to Florida to face those problems. I have made many friends here that I don't want to leave but this was just a small chapter of my life. I'm going to miss everything about this place. And there are a few people that I won't even say goodbye to. Because I believe there is no good in goodbye and I can't bring myself to see this as an ending of relationships. Because I don't want this to be forever, I want to see you again one day. But I want to be a stronger person then than I am now. Until the day I see you again I will not be complete. I will miss you and I love you.

30 Day Music Challenge... Day 1

Day One: My Favorite Song.

Why is it that when you are asked about a favorite you can never decide? I have so many favorites! But I think right now I would go with Landslide sung by the Dixie Chicks. It is a simple song but it has a good meaning. And I just really like it :)

30 Day Music Challenge

Ok so I really didn't get as into the photo challenge. So I'm going to try this because I absolutely love music! Lets see how it turns out!


day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Something Else...

I don't easily trust people. The reason being is I'm afraid of being hurt again. I have let people in in the past and it has ended up just being more pain than it was worth. So to me,for now, if I don't let my walls down no one can touch me. I don't have to worry about my heart being broken or my feelings being hurt. I guess I should tell my story to the world for the first time. When I moved to Florida I made a friend. She was my best friend. My absolute best friend. We did everything together and knew everything about each other. I let her in and she became more of a sister than I have ever known. 5 years later she met a boy and their relationship was toxic. They fought all the time but the were "so in love." Well the day came when she and I parted ways. I was crushed and I felt so betrayed. This was someone who knew everything about me,good and bad, but still loved and accepted me for what I was. I didn't know what to do. This was one of the darkest times in my life. So I thought. I found comfort in her ex. I know the girl-world law but she and I weren't friends anymore and he and I were both suffering. One thing turned to another and soon I had found a new best friend. And so had he. I was crazy in love with this boy. It couldn't get any more perfect. We spent every waking moment together and when we had to work we never stopped texting. I couldn't get enough and I thought to myself "this is it. He is the one." I seriously have never felt before what I felt for that boy. Nor have I felt it since. I dropped all my walls and guards and he was under my skin. He was in my head. I was sincerely in love. I had my sign and I knew he was the one. Then one day it just stopped. I found out that he had been going behind my back and talking to the ex. I thought she had disappeared but I couldn't have been more wrong. They had started talking again and before I even knew anything was wrong, he was gone. I felt about 2 inches tall and like I had been punched in the gut. I don't even have the right words for how I felt. It can never be put into words. But that day I swore to myself that I would never ever let that happen again. I know it will sound so stupid but I went into depression and I lost a bunch of weight. I went to work and came home. That was it. Nothing else. I couldn't figure out how to live with out the two most important people in my life. So I put a lock on my heart. I couldn't see letting myself go like that again. My one shot at love had just walked out my front door. I know you all think this story has a happy ending but it doesn't. It has been almost 2 years since this happened and I can still smell his cologne and I think about him every time I walk into a Pac-Sun. Which I have learnt not to do. I still have dreams about things she and I did. And when I see a blue Mustang I have to look away. I haven't let go of all the anger and I'm scared that if I trust anyone the way I trusted them that it will end the same way. So I don't. I don't trust anyone and I don't let anyone in. I see no reason in putting myself into possible pain. I don't think I could go through all that again. I have the hardest time with relationships because I feel myself wanting to let go and it all comes flooding back and I immediately trow up a huge wall that is impossible to get over. And I'm not trying to pull a pity card here. I just want people who say I'm cold to know what has caused it. I may seem cold, hard, unemotional and sad but that is my defense. It is how I protect myself. In actuality, I come off that way because I'm on the fence about trusting you. I know I can and I know you are not going to hurt me it's just very hard for me to let go. So please don't give up on me. I'm different from every person on this planet. But I'm the best me there is. Or is ever going to be. I'm sorry I seem like a pain in the butt 97% of the time but again just a defense for me. I'm just a slow burner and it takes me a lot of time to be warm. But when I am, you will know it. I love you more than I can say.

A little tid-bit

I handle emotions differently than pretty much every person I know, but this doesn't mean I don't have them. I just am not as expressive with them. It's not that I don't cry, I just never let people see me cry. I'm apologizing for the things I have put people through. I didn't plan for the things that have happened. But even the most seemingly perfect humans make mistakes. And that is exactly all I am. Human. I was wrong. I made a mistake. I'm trying my hardest to fix it. But understand I ,and only I, can fix it. I am searching for my happiness. And it is elusive. The door has closed and the light has shut off. But I'm looking for the moonlight coming from my window. And right out that window is my paradise. And I'm going to do what's right for me to get out that window. No matter what it takes I am going to find that window and get out of it. I know I am a selfish and irresponsible person. You were right there. I know I don't always deal with everything right but it's only because I don't know how to deal with them. And a problem is that I do what feels right in the moment. I don't often think about the consequences. I don't often use my head. And I probably should. I know everything that you have done has been to protect me and get me to realize. Even though I haven't told you, I really do appreciate that. And I do care. I know I am on the verge of adult hood and there are some very real things coming my way. Some very hard things are coming my way. I just hope I can do what's right for myself. And to you: I'm sorry. I love you. I wish things could have turned out differently but they didn't. And this is how it should be. This is how it's supposed to be. ***4 Days Until Florida!!!***